Straightjacket Feeling
by sputterfly
Summary: Hinawa felt that suffering through Hanahaki Disease alone would be easier than telling everyone what was really wrong with him. He didn't know how wrong he was. (I will post content/trigger warnings at the start of the chapters where they are needed. Other than that, regular warnings for blood, vomiting, and threats of surgery, etc., remain throughout the story.)
1. Chapter 1

The flowers came without warning.

Sure, Takehisa Hinawa was absolutely, positively sure that he was lovesick over his comrade. He was sure of that the minute he awoke to the first petals scratching at the back of his throat. But was he convinced that she returned his feelings?

Negative.

"Lieutenant, we have a stack of reports that need to be filed away," Maki Oze said, waving them around. She was standing by his desk with her hand on her hip. "We can't keep ignoring them forever!"

"I know, Maki," he replied, standing up. He took the reports from her and thumbed through them. "Thanks for going through these, by the way."

"No problem, sir."

Hinawa turned his head away as he coughed into his elbow. Each breath felt like sharp daggers were being stabbed into his lungs; he grimaced slightly and rubbed his chest.

"Are you getting sick, Lieutenant?" Maki asked. "I can always go and get a mask for you."

"No, I'm fine," he replied quickly. "I'm going to put these up on the shelf. There are some more that remain to be input into the computer, can you do that?"

"Of course."

Hinawa turned away and put the files into a large cabinet. He waited until he heard Maki typing in the information on the reports before he quietly snuck out of the room.

_I have to get to the bathroom_, he thought. He fought back the urge to cough; he knew he would cough up more than blood this time. _I can't let anyone see, or they'll worry._

He barely had time to grab the sink for support before he began to cough violently. He tried to cover his mouth but found that it was impossible; blood seeped through his fingers into the basin, staining the cracked porcelain. He watched as it dripped into the sink from his fingers. The shock of it all had yet to hit him. He went to wash his blood-covered hands and saw what he had been dreading: camellia petals that were once white as snow, now stained with his blood.

He had ignored the symptoms of his condition. He thought the itching in the back of his throat was just allergies from the turn of the season. And the tight clenching in his chest when he saw Maki? He thought it was just a normal reaction for him, as he had had feelings for her for a long time.

So when he woke up coughing this morning and hacked up a few petals into his garbage can, it shocked him. Maki was the _least_ likely person to love someone like him.

Hinawa rubbed his aching chest; his lungs hurt from being wracked with coughs. But the more painful thing to him was his heart aching from the pain of knowing that Maki would never love him back. As he tried to catch his breath, he felt more camellia petals blossom from his mouth, rendering him unable to breathe at all. Tears streamed down his face as he struggled against the flowers and blood.

_Breathe, dammit! Breathe!_ he thought desperately. He sat hunched over on his knees, his chest in pain. The floor in front of him was covered in blood and petals.

Someone knocked on the bathroom door just then; Hinawa stared at the floor around him as the voice on the other side called out to him.

"Lieutenant? It's Maki. I was just wondering if you're okay. You haven't come out of the bathroom yet, so I wanted to check on you," she said quietly.

"I-I'm okay," Hinawa answered hoarsely. He grabbed his throat, surprised that he could speak at all.

Hinawa heard Maki's hand jiggle the doorknob. "Can you come and let me know for real when you come out of the bathroom? It'd make me feel a lot better."

"Yeah, I'll let you know, Maki," he said quietly.

He waited a few minutes for Maki to leave before standing and facing himself in the mirror. His reflection was terrible; he was bloodsoaked from his mouth to his stomach, and the blood went up inside his sleeves to his elbows. He shrugged out of his orange jumpsuit and washed his face and arms. It was a significant improvement in his appearance, but he felt weak from the blood loss.

_I know there's a bucket around here somewhere,_ Hinawa thought. He searched through a closet inside the bathroom and pulled out a mop bucket of cleaning supplies and set to work mopping the bloody mess. _I'll make this floor so clean no one will know what happened._

Thirty minutes later, Hinawa set the bucket to the side. His head was dizzy from the fumes of the cleaning products; he quietly left the bathroom and headed back to his room. He opened his door to find Maki sitting on his bed.

"Lieutenant, you never came, so I thought I'd wait for you," she said, jumping up.

"I'm fine," he told her, taking her vacant spot on his bed. "I just need to rest."

"Is there anything I can get you? Like maybe a glass of water?" Maki asked.

"Yeah, that'd be fine."

Maki turned and left his room. Hinawa waited until she was gone before grabbing his chest again.

_What _is _that?_ he wondered. _It's something that only seems to flare up when I'm around Maki. But I can't do anything to stop it, no matter how hard I try._

"Lieutenant? I brought your water," Maki said, setting it on his bedside table.

"Thanks, Maki," he told her, reaching to get a drink. As he stared into the bottom of the glass, he saw Maki still standing in his room.

"You're a terrible liar," she said, her eyes welling up with tears. "Please, tell me what's wrong with you."

"I don't know, Maki," Hinawa said truthfully.

"How can I help you get better when you don't let me?" Maki yelled, punching at him. Hinawa stopped it barehanded.

"I'm going to a doctor tomorrow," Hinawa said. "Does that make you feel better?"

"No," she said. Tears streamed down her face.

"Make it make you feel better. Because I don't know what's wrong, and I'm not optimistic about what they are going to tell me."

Maki sniffled. She had to be strong for him; her heart ached at not knowing. Hinawa patted her on the head before guiding her to the door.

"I'm exhausted. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" he said.

"Okay. Goodnight," she said, waving.

Hinawa shut his bedroom door behind her and lay back on his bed. He placed his hand on his chest, worried a sudden coughing spasm would start up again now that Maki was gone. He knew she had to be the trigger of it.

_Stop thinking that! None of this has to do with her_, Hinawa thought. _I just chose the wrong person to fall in love with._

He rolled over and faced the wall. _Maki is j__ust the wrong person for me. She's way too good for me, and she can get better guys than me._ He rubbed his face and fell asleep, trying to convince himself he was no good for her.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Hinawa was waiting in an exam room, surrounded by medical equipment. He felt that a doctor's appointment was unnecessary, but it was mostly for Maki's sake, so she'd quit worrying. He was sitting on the exam table in a hospital gown and his underwear when the doctor came in.

"So you're here because you keep coughing up blood, correct?" he asked.

"Yes, sir." Hinawa sat up a little straighter.

"How long has this been going on?"

"I've been coughing for about two weeks, but I've only been coughing up blood for the past few days," Hinawa said. "It's not prohibited me from doing my job, but I still would like to know what is causing me to be sick."

The doctor checked his neck and mouth. As he pulled out his stethoscope, Hinawa calmed himself. He's_ just checking my chest. There's nothing wrong with my chest. _The doctor moved the bell of the stethoscope around his chest, and Hinawa breathed when he was ordered to. It was painful to do so; it was like someone was cutting his lungs from the inside.

"So, Lieutenant Hinawa, have you ever heard of Hanahaki Disease?" the doctor asked.

"Not really. Why?" Hinawa said.

"The disease, caused by unrequited love, starts in the heart and lungs. It then manifests itself as petals coughed up by the victim, and once the victim coughs up full flowers, they die."

_ Unrequited love? Death? _ Hinawa thought. It was a lot to process. "H-How do I treat this? What do I do?"

"There aren't many regular treatment options for you; the ones not endorsed by medical professionals are that the person you're in love with has to return your feelings or just to let the disease run its course." the doctor said.

"But that's crazy!" Hinawa yelled.

"The third option is that you can have an operation to remove the flowers and never love again. It's a drastic measure, but about half of our patients choose this option."

Hinawa paused. _ Never love Maki again? _ "I'm supposed to _decide _between death and-and not being able to love again? That's insane! I can't make that decision!"

"You don't have to decide today," the doctor told him.

Hinawa was frantic. He felt an anxiety attack coming on; he couldn't have an operation. Or at least not one that put his and Maki's relationship on the line.

"I'd rather die than not love her," he said, his voice shaky.

"Well, it looks like you've decided," the doctor said. "But if you ever change your mind, please feel free to make an appointment, and we'll get you set up."

Hinawa waited until he had left before exploding in small fits of rage and sadness. How could he possibly decide between death and _ Maki, _of all people? He wanted to collapse into tears in the exam room but felt it'd be best to wait. When he got back to Company 8's cathedral, he was ambushed by his squadmates, all wanting to know if he was given a clean bill of health.

"Yeah, it's just the flu, is all," he lied. "I should be better within a few days."

"That's great!" Maki said.

"I know. I'll be resting in my room if anyone needs me," Hinawa said. He walked toward his room, passing the large stained glass windows in the hall. He stopped and looked up at one of the windows in thought.

_ I can die from this, _ he thought. _ I want to love Maki without worrying about dying. Is that so much to ask for? _

As Hinawa opened his bedroom door, he reached inside and flipped on the light switch. He tossed his jacket over to the chair in the corner and sat down on his bed, his heart heavy.

_ Should I mention it to anyone? _ he wondered. _ I mean, maybe having this disease won't be so bad if someone else knew about it. But then they could tell Maki, and I'd have to worry about that. _

He was lost in his thoughts when he heard someone knocking softly on his bedroom door. He made his way over to the door and opened it to see Maki standing in the hall. She was teetering back and forth on her heels, hesitating on her question.

"Maki, what is it?" he asked.

"Do you have the flu?" she asked him.

"Yes," he lied.

"I-I don't believe you!" Maki cried, her fists clenched at her sides.

Hinawa's hand clenched around the doorknob. _ I can't let her know. _ "I promise it's just the flu. I'll be better in a few days."

Maki scrunched her face up and stared at the floor, her lip quivering. She felt that, in her heart, she should trust him, but there was just something about the way he had been acting that she didn't like.

"I'm sorry for bothering you, Lieutenant Hinawa. Goodnight." Maki turned and headed down the hall to her room.

Hinawa sighed in confusion. He didn't know what was going on with Maki lately. It felt like he never understood her anymore. He wanted to chase after her but didn't. She'll come back to me, he thought.

Maki walked into her room and fell to her knees on the floor, sobbing. She knew in her heart Hinawa wasn't okay.

"Why won't he tell me the truth?" she cried. "I know he's sick. I know it's not the flu."

Maki held her arms close to her chest for a few minutes before standing. She knew that she'd been bothering the lieutenant a bit lately, so she felt that if she left him alone, he might explain to her what was wrong.

_ Does he not trust me anymore? _ Maki wondered. She knew that that was wrong; she knew that the lieutenant trusted her completely. _ I don't know the truth anymore. If he trusts me, he'd tell me what was wrong with him, right? _

She laid down in bed and faced her wall. Her thoughts raced with the news, or lack thereof that the lieutenant was giving her.

_ I'll talk to him again tomorrow and see what's going on_, Maki thought before closing her eyes. _That is if_ _ I _ can _speak to him. _


	3. Chapter 3

**tw: blood and vomit. **

**also, I made an error in chapter one about hinawa's flower color and didn't catch it in my editing. I mistakenly wrote it as the white camellia, which means "waiting," and not the yellow camellia, which means "longing" (and which is his flower). sorry! **

* * *

Over the next few days, Hinawa kept to himself, and whenever he felt the familiar tickle of flower petals in his throat, he excused himself to the restroom to cough it up. The flower petals were usually accompanied by blood, and in excess, vomit.

"Lieutenant Hinawa, can I speak to you?" Captain Akitaru Obi asked him one day.

"Yes, sir."

Hinawa got up from his desk and followed him into his office. He waited as Obi turned to look at him and gave him a grim look.

"You've been taking a lot of time out the past couple of weeks, Lieutenant," he said. "Everyone else in the company thinks that it'd be best if you take a few days off and rest."

"What?" Hinawa asked incredulously. "I'm fine. There's no need for everyone to go through all of that trouble."

"Really?" Obi asked. "Because we think that if you had some time off, then you can heal better."

"I'm fine, really," he said. "No need to make special accommodations for me."

_ I don't want to tell anyone just yet about my illness. If they knew, they'd all treat me differently, and I can't have them doing that. _ Hinawa sighed and turned to leave. _ Especially Maki. _

"Lieutenant, if you want to talk to someone, then there's bound to be someone here at Company 8 for you to talk to," Obi told him.

Hinawa stared at him. "Yeah, maybe, but I don't want to drag everyone into my personal problems."

As Hinawa returned to his desk chair, Maki looked at him worriedly. He knew that she would undoubtedly be one of the biggest ones to worry about him, followed by Tamaki, Iris, and Lisa. He felt her eyes bore holes into him until he glanced up at her.

"You should stare at your work as much as you're staring at me, Maki," he said.

"S-Sorry, Lieutenant!" she said. "I just thought that you'd at least take a day off since you've been so sick."

"I'm perfectly capable of working while sick," he said. "Besides, it's just the flu."

"Yeah, you're right."

She grabbed a file from the stack next to her and looked through it. She set it down on the desk and began typing it up into the laptop on the desk in front of her. "Maki, I can still carry my workload as well," Hinawa said. He knew that she had taken on the majority of his paperwork for him so that he wouldn't have as much to do, thereby giving herself more work and him hardly any work at all.

"Lieutenant, I don't mind doing all of this work," Maki said. "Besides, you need to rest. We have training today with Arthur and Shinra."

Maki was right; if he was to help train the problem children, then he needed to be in top form.

"Can you get me up when it's time?" he asked her.

"Of course," she told him.

Hinawa headed down the hall to his bedroom and turned on the light. He laid back on his bed and closed his eyes.

_ Can I ever bring myself to tell everyone about my illness? _ he wondered. He sat up and coughed lightly, and saw yellow-colored camellia petals fall into his hand. There was no blood or vomit — just petals.

Hinawa's head began to pound. He didn't want to believe it; he had tossed aside every inkling of truth he had of his Hanahaki diagnosis. But here was the hard truth in front of him: yellow camellia petals clutched in his fist. If he were a Third Generation, he'd have burnt them immediately. Instead, he stupidly tossed the fistful of flowers into his garbage can and watched them flutter to the bottom.

_ I'm not dying. I don't have Hanahaki Disease. I'm not dying, _ he repeated, until it became a mantra of sorts.

He clutched his chest, where he knew the disease had already taken root. He felt a panic attack rising. He needed air, _ fresh _air.

"Lieutenant, are you okay?" he heard Maki call from the doorway.

"I'm fine. I just need some air," Hinawa replied.

"Let's go up to the roof, you can get some fresh air there," she told him.

Hinawa followed her out of his room and to the stairwell leading up to the roof. He looked up the stairs, hesitating. He had never had any problems before with stairs, so why is he so worried about the stairwell now?

"Let me go open the door so that some fresh air can come down this way," Maki said. She hurried ahead of him and opened the door. He could hear Arthur and Shinra arguing on the roof, and Maki began yelling at them to be quiet.

_ Now that I'm getting some fresh air, I'm feeling loads better, _ Hinawa said. He slowly began his ascent and climbed onto the roof of the cathedral to a scene of chaos.

Arthur and Shinra were busy arguing while Sister Iris and Tamaki sat nearby on a blanket. Hinawa sighed in frustration; this was _not _what he wanted to be dealing with while he was sick.

"You two shut up," he said. "It's time for training."

"Yes, sir."

"We're going to run through some simple procedures with you guys," Maki said.

"Lieutenant, are you sure you're up for this?" Shinra asked.

"I'm perfectly capable of handling myself. I'm not that sick," Hinawa said sternly.

"Just wondering."

Maki laughed nervously. She was glad that the lieutenant was feeling so well. But she still wanted him to take a little break to recover.

Hinawa felt the silky feel of a camellia petal crop up into the back of his throat. He ignored it as he watched Maki, Arthur, and Shinra train. Just this once, he wanted to be with his company as their lieutenant, not as an outsider. He cleared his throat and felt a single petal fill up his mouth. He turned away and coughed it out.

_ This is not the time to be coughing out flowers, _ he told himself.

He watched as Maki single-handedly felled both Shinra and Arthur. They groaned as they both came to their feet; Maki dusted her hands off and walked over to Hinawa.

"It's your turn, Lieutenant," she told him with a smile.

"Maki, I don't think I should be training while I'm sick," he said.

"Are you so sick that you can't train?" she asked him. Her violet eyes skimmed over him.

"N-No," he lied. He hated lying to Maki, but he couldn't bear to tell her the actual truth: that the reason why he was sick was because of her.

"Lieutenant, if you don't feel like training with us, we'd be more than glad to train with Maki," Shinra said. He kicked Arthur. "Right?"

"Yes, we'd be more than glad to train with the ogress," Arthur said.

"Who are you calling a gorilla cyclops?!" Maki yelled, punching Arthur and Shinra.

_ And to think that fate chose her as the one I had to fall in love with_, Hinawa thought, sighing. He walked over to Maki and tapped her on the shoulder.

"I owe you for this," he said.

"Yeah, don't worry about it," she told him cheerfully. "Go get some rest."

Hinawa headed back inside. Something had to give eventually.


	4. Chapter 4

**tw: suicidal thoughts & actions (I cannot stress this enough); threats of surgery**

**i wanted to hug hinawa so bad, and i still do.**

* * *

Maki gathered her finished reports together and stacked them on top of the pile to her right. She would later give them to Lieutenant Hinawa to glance over before inputting them into the computer. She coughed slightly.

_The lieutenant must have given me what he has,_ she thought. As she coughed again, she looked into her hand and was shocked to see blood. She got up and went to the bathroom, where she began coughing even harder.

A few minutes later, she coughed up a few bloodstained pink petals. She stared at them as she felt the first few tears roll down her cheeks.

_What the— No!_ she thought desperately. _This can't be._

She took the flower petals over to the toilet, where she flushed them. She washed her tear-stained face before returning to the office and sitting down across from Hinawa.

"Are you okay, Maki?" he asked, concerned.

"Yeah. I think you gave me what you had," she said, coughing lightly.

Hinawa's face fell. He didn't know how to tell her that what he had wasn't contagious. He had already decided to keep his diagnosis of Hanahaki Disease to himself so that no one would fuss over him.

"Maki, maybe you should go to the doctor," Obi said. "I heard that the flu is spreading."

Maki's brain hatched an idea. She could go to the doctor and get an official diagnosis of her disease. After all, a professional would know better than her, right?

The next day, she was anxiously waiting in the exam room for the doctor when she became overwhelmed by emotions. She steadied her breathing as the doctor walked in.

"So, tell me what's been going on," the doctor said, setting down his medical bag.

Maki took a deep, shaky breath. "I've been coughing up blood since yesterday, and I was told that the flu was spreading, so I thought that it could be what's causing me to be sick."

Maki felt a small tickle at the back of her throat; she knew if she dared to cough then, she would cough up those pink flower petals again.

"Let me listen to your chest," the doctor said. He put his stethoscope in his ears and moved the bell over her back. She ignored the coldness of the stethoscope and instead concentrated on her breathing.

"Have you had any other symptoms?" the doctor asked her as he removed his stethoscope.

"Just a cough," she lied.

"Can you cough for me now?" he asked her.

Maki tried to cough as weakly as she could; instead, she coughed up another handful of bloody pink petals. She felt her heart constrict as she looked at the doctor. "Am I going to die?"

"Hanahaki Disease can end in death if the person you have feelings for doesn't return your feelings," he told her. "The flowers can take root in your heart and lungs and end up killing you. However, there are a few treatment options that we can do if you don't want to wait on a beloved to return your feelings."

"What are the other treatment options?" Maki asked.

"Well, we can let the disease run its course, or we can do an operation and remove the flowers," the doctor said. "However, if we go with that option, you won't be able to love ever again."

"That outcome isn't even _worth_ the risk!" Maki exclaimed. "Although…"

She pondered over her other options. Should she let the disease run wild through her body when she wasn't even sure whom she had feelings for?

"I'm going to wait on deciding on a treatment option," Maki said.

"That's just fine," the doctor said, standing. "If you ever change your mind, feel free to contact my office, and we'll schedule you for surgery."

"Yes, thank you, doctor." Maki waited for him to leave the room before she began to cry.

_I know I like the Lieutenant, but it's likely he doesn't like me back,_ Maki thought sadly to herself. _I should move on from him and find someone else._

She hopped down from the exam table and gathered her things. She felt a soft tickle at the back of her throat and ignored it; she wanted to wait until she got back to the cathedral to cough up the petals. As Maki left the doctor's office, she walked across the street to get an ice cream cone. She sat down on a nearby bench and stared sadly into her melting cone.

_I don't know what I'm going to tell everyone,_ she thought. I'll_ have to come up with a lie. Maybe something like I have a cold?_

"Maki!"

Maki looked to see who could be calling her name and saw her older brother Takigi coming over to her. She stood up from the bench and walked over to greet him.

"Hey, how are you?" she asked him.

"I'm doing good. What are you doing away from Company 8?" her brother asked.

"I had a doctor appointment today," she replied calmly.

Her brother narrowed his eyes. "Anyway, I'm glad I ran into you; I have a friend-"

"–No!" she interjected, cutting him off.

"Let me finish!" he said. "I have a friend that you might be interested in, are you interested in meeting him next week for a date?"

"Next week?" she asked. "I can't just get days off whenever I feel like it!"

"Think about it, okay? And let me know if you'd like to meet up with him so I can tell him," Takigi said.

"If I do it, will you at least get off my back about it?" she asked hoarsely. She felt the flower petals at the back of her throat; she had to hurry and leave, and agreeing to a date with her brother's friend seemed to be the quickest option.

"Yeah, maybe," he told her.

"Then, I'll see him. But I have to get back to the cathedral. I'll see you later!" she told him.

* * *

Maki leaned her chin on her hand. She hadn't coughed up any flower petals for a few days and noticed that when she didn't think about the lieutenant, her suffering was easier. She sighed and stood from her desk and proceeded to walk into Obi's office, where he was talking to Hinawa. Her chest tightened as she glanced at the lieutenant and then quickly looked away.

"Excuse me, Captain, I have a request," she said saluting.

"Yeah? What is it, Maki?" Obi asked.

"I have a date tonight," Maki said, blushing. "Can I have the rest of the evening off?"

"Sure," Obi said. He set the weight he was holding down. "Are you sure you're feeling up to it, though?"

"Yeah. I've been feeling better lately, and if I don't go on this date, my brother will yell at me."

"Why do something for the sake of someone else?" Hinawa asked her.

Maki looked over at him. _If only he knew,_ she thought. "It's my brother's friend. I can turn him down if I don't like him tonight."

Hinawa gripped his pen a little tighter as he felt his chest tighten. He didn't want to think about Maki with another man. He had been coughing up yellow camellia petals just that morning, and his pain seemed never to go away now.

Obi looked between Hinawa and Maki and noticed as they exchanged a few glances. He sighed; the last thing he needed was his two top fire soldiers in a relationship, but he also didn't want to deprive Maki of a personal life of her own. He knew Hinawa felt the same.

Didn't he?

"Have fun, Maki, but not _too_ much fun," Obi said.

"Yes, sir, and thank you again!" Maki said before leaving.

Hinawa sighed. "Are you sure that was a good idea?" he asked.

"Who am I to stop you guys from having fun?" Obi said.

Hinawa sighed again. He finished up the report he had in his hand and put it back into its folder. As he walked into the office, he overheard Tamaki excitedly speaking to Maki.

"You _have_ to wear makeup, Maki!" she was saying.

"I'm not a makeup person," Maki was telling her, pushing her away.

"But makeup will make you prettier than you already are! And then he'll want to date you again!" Tamaki insisted.

_Help me,_ Hinawa silently pleaded.

"Isn't that right, Lieutenant?" Tamaki asked.

"I-I'm sorry?" he said.

"Do you think Maki will be prettier with makeup on?" Tamaki asked.

Hinawa blushed scarlet. "I think she'd be beautiful with or without makeup."

Maki smiled slightly as Tamaki started grumbling. She put her hand on her shoulder and led her down the hall. "Come help me decide on what to wear." As they walked away, Hinawa walked into the kitchen and pretended to stab himself in the heart with his pen. _Dying would be easier than watching all of this fanfare,_ he thought.

He felt the all too familiar tinge of pain in the back of his throat as the flower petals threatened to show themselves. He hurried to his bedroom to cough them up in peace. After a few minutes of hacking, he was greeted not by a yellow camellia, but by a fully formed yellow rose instead.

"Is this some sick _joke_?" he said hoarsely, throwing the bloody flower across the room. A yellow rose meant jealousy; of _course,_ he was jealous. Maki wasn't going out with him, was she?

_I should kill myself_, he thought. _No one would miss me, and I would be cured. _

He shook the dark thought from his head as he coughed again. Another yellow rose came up; he suddenly realized what was going on.

"Am I dying because I'm _jealous_?" Hinawa said aloud.

He held the rose in his hand. It was bloody from having traveled up his windpipe and cutting him with its thorns. He had already decided against having the surgery, but he knew that if he didn't take action soon, he would die. He picked up his phone and called the doctor. The ringing of the phone on the other end made the process even more agonizing than it already was.

_I can't do this!_ he thought, hanging up the phone. _What if it doesn't work out? What if she loves me too?_ He sighed into his hands. _Company 8 doesn't deserve me as its lieutenant. I should hand in my resignation now. That way, I'd be away from both Company 8 and Maki._

He reached over and picked up his handgun. He didn't want to. But his only options right now were to either never love Maki again, which was impossible or to kill himself, which he didn't have the guts to do. He set down his firearm and began to weep. _I don't want to do either one of these things._

A soft knock on his door made him jump; he put the gun back on his bedside table and quickly threw the yellow roses in the trash. He wiped his mouth and hurried to open the door.

"Who is it?" he asked.

"It's me, Lieutenant," Maki said. "Can I come in?"

Hinawa opened his bedroom door. "Yeah, sure. What is it?"

Maki stepped into his room. She was dressed in a pair of black slacks and a white sleeveless blouse; her curves were silhouetted gracefully.

"Are you okay?" she asked him.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he told her. "Why do you ask?"

"You just seemed weird earlier."

_Because I don't want you going on this date? Because I want you to stay here with me?_ Hinawa couldn't stop thinking. "Sorry. I didn't take you to be one who would want to go out on dates."

Maki puffed up. "Well, I do!"

Hinawa pushed his glasses up on his nose. "I'm not stopping you from going out on dates. But please be careful, okay?"

Maki's expression softened. "Okay, Lieutenant."

He watched her leave and reluctantly picked up the phone again. He didn't want to die because of Maki.

* * *

"So what all has my brother told you about me?" Maki asked her date as she took a sip of her water. Her mouth was parched.

"He said that you were a first-class fire soldier in the fire force," her date said nervously. "And that you were coerced into joining by your company's lieutenant."

Maki sighed. She knew it was just too good to be true. She looked at the crowded tables around her and wondered how she could dump this incredibly nice guy in the most polite way possible.

"Listen, I don't know what my brother has told you, but I'm not looking for a relationship right now," she told him.

"Oh. Okay. I'm sorry." The guy stood and bowed. "I'll see you around then."

Maki sighed as she stayed by herself in the restaurant. A few minutes later, a familiar voice surprised her.

"Is this seat taken?"

Maki jumped and turned to see Hinawa pulling out the chair that her date had just vacated. She sighed and shook her head.

"No, feel free to join me."

"What's wrong?"

"I just can't date him," Maki told him.

Hinawa flagged down a waiter for a glass of water. He had told Obi that he was coming to check on Maki because he knew that something like this might happen; after all, it's _Maki._

"So why _are_ you here?" she asked him.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," he said.

"That's nice," she told him.

It was; Maki had never known someone to be so concerned about her that they'd come and check up on her in the middle of a date. Hinawa looked at her sheepishly.

"Please tell Obi that when we return, he thought it seemed like a dumb idea," he said.

"Well, it was that too," Maki said.

"Have we decided on what we're going to order?" the waiter asked.

"W-We're not on a date," Hinawa said, blushing. His heart fluttered furiously.

"We were just about to leave," Maki said firmly. She grabbed her purse. "All we had was water."

The waiter gave them a tight-lipped smile. "Have a good evening, then."

As Maki and Hinawa took their leave, Maki couldn't help but giggle. She slipped her arm through Hinawa's and dragged him up the street. Hinawa smiled and allowed himself to be pulled along behind her.

"So, how did you know what restaurant I was at?" she asked him as they walked.

"I overheard Tamaki and Iris talking," Hinawa lied. He stuffed his fists into his pants pockets. "I'm sorry if it seems like I bothered you."

"No, it's okay, Lieutenant Hinawa, really," Maki said. She was deep in thought, and had turned her head toward the deepening purple sky. "I don't mind your company."

Hinawa's eyes widened for a moment as he registered what she said. He opened his mouth to tell her something, but quickly changed his mind and instead looked at the ground. Maki saw him hesitate out of the corner of her eye and walked over to him.

"Is something wrong?" she asked.

"I-I have to leave the office for a bit this week, nothing major," he said. _You liar!_ he yelled at himself. You're_ having a major operation, tell her!_

"Just be sure to come back, okay?"

"Of course," he told her. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't you come back?" Maki mumbled under her breath.


	5. Chapter 5

**tw: vomiting, blood, threats of surgery... the usual.**

**i've been getting the next chapters ready to post.**

* * *

Hinawa sat in the office, milling over paperwork. His throat was sore from having coughed up flower buds all during the night, and he had to take continuous breaks to go to the bathroom to cough up the multicolored flower buds of a primrose. He flushed each bloody bud right after he coughed it up, but he had gotten to the point where he would throw up as he coughed up the buds.

_I can't keep food down anymore,_ he thought, heaving into a toilet in the bathroom. _I won't last another few days if I can't keep anything down._

"Hey, Lieutenant, are you okay?" Shinra asked, poking his head into the door.

"I'm fine!" Hinawa said, a little too harshly.

"Alright, fine, I was just checking," Shinra said. "Maki was worried about you."

Hinawa stood shakily. "I'm fine," he repeated. "Just the flu."

"I'll go tell Maki." Shinra turned to leave. "Also, I know it's none of my business, but if you keep causing Maki to worry, the least you can do is tell her what is going on." He shut the bathroom door behind him.

Hinawa looked at the spot where Shinra was standing. What would _he_ know about his feelings for Maki? He slumped against the bathroom wall and sighed. I'm_ just useless as I am right now,_ he thought. It's_ a hopeless situation._

"Lieutenant?" Maki's voice called out. "Are you okay?"

"Maki? What are you doing here?" Hinawa asked, standing up. "I just told Shinra to–"

"I know, but I wanted to make sure you were okay for myself," she said. She laid the back of her hand on his forehead. "You don't have a fever so that rules out the flu. What is wrong, and tell me the truth."

Hinawa looked into Maki's violet eyes. He knew that she had been ill lately, as well; he had heard her coughing violently just that morning. He brushed her jawline with his finger. _I can't tell her; she probably doesn't like me_.

"It's just a bug," he lied. "I should be better soon."

"Lieutenant, I–"

She turned her head at the sound of the alarm. Hinawa's heart squeezed tighter, and he felt the flower blossoms tickle the back of his throat. He knew Maki had something important to say. _Should I cancel the operation?_

"Gear up, we have an Infernal in Ueno District!" Obi yelled in the locker room. Hinawa laid out each of his firearms as he finished prepping them; he geared up into his bunker gear and waited on everyone else.

"Lieutenant, are you sure you should be coming along and you sick?" Obi asked.

"I'll be fine." Hinawa noticed Maki eyeing him out of the corner of his eye. He tried not to make eye contact with her as he walked past her to the Matchbox.

As Obi briefed everyone on the Infernal, Vulcan drove to Ueno District. The cars that generally covered both sides of the road had been moved to make way for them to get to the site faster. Hinawa's mind was elsewhere as he meditated in the back with the rest of Company 8, and he noticed Maki was doing the same. He jolted awake when Vulcan pulled to a stop, and Obi placed a hand on his shoulder as he got out.

"Hinawa, are you sure you're okay to be fighting?" he asked.

"Yes, sir."

Obi gave him a look. "Okay. If you get to feeling sick, then be sure to leave so that you don't get injured."

Hinawa nodded. He knew this already, of course. Obi repeated it to him every day that they had to extinguish an Infernal. But he had never needed to leave a scene yet.

"We need to meet with the firefighters, Captain," Hinawa said.

Obi sighed and walked over to a nearby tent; Hinawa followed him, trying desperately to ignore the flower petals itching at his throat. He barely listened as Obi was briefed on the situation inside.

"Okay," Obi said, snapping Hinawa out of his brain fog. "Lieutenant Hinawa and I need to brief our team, and then we'll go in."

The firefighters nodded. Obi turned and left the tent, Hinawa behind him. They walked over to where the rest of Company 8 was waiting for them.

"The Infernal seems to be a former employee," Obi said. "It's behaving very aggressively, so we need to be careful. Tamaki, Arthur, Shinra, Lisa, you four will be in front. Maki and Hinawa, you two will provide rear support for them. Sister, you and I will stay in the back with Vulcan and Licht."

"Captain, you don't have to protect me," Iris said.

"It's still best if one of us is with you," Obi said. "Company 8, let's go."

Everyone walked into the building, Hinawa behind Maki. Her witch's hat was positioned at an angle on her head, and her hair was in its standard ponytail. Maki reached up and self-consciously straightened her hat.

A blast of flames hit them as they approached the Infernal, and Maki immediately set to work on diverting them. Tamaki ran forward and tried to grab the Infernal with her twin-tails, but failed.

"Tamaki, stay back here with Iris!" Obi shouted. He pulled an ax out of his bunker coat and joined Maki, Arthur, Lisa, and Shinra. Hinawa stayed back and loaded an extinguishing bullet into his firearm.

"Firing extinguishing bullet now!" Hinawa said as he pulled the trigger.

Arthur sliced at the Infernal's core but missed, instead slicing off its right arm. "Shit," he yelled.

It happened in an instant. Hinawa collapsed to the ground in a coughing fit, vomiting forget-me-nots that burned in the flames. He couldn't stand, couldn't defend himself, but knew immediately that his life was in danger.

"Lieutenant!" Maki shrieked as she ran to cover him from the flames.

"Shinra, destroy it now!" Obi yelled. "Sister, start the prayer!"

Hinawa listened to Iris recite the prayer for putting an Infernal to rest; he regretted not listening to Obi when he had the chance. As he watched Shinra destroy the Infernal, he gasped for breath. He passed out slowly as he began to wonder just why the flames never engulfed him.

* * *

"Lieutenant? Are you awake?"

Hinawa rubbed his eyes. He tried to answer the person who had asked him the question but found he couldn't. He fumbled around for his glasses.

"Here."

As everything came into focus again, he saw Maki sitting beside his bed. She was wearing civilian clothing instead of bunker gear, and he had IV tubes coming out of his arm. He swallowed and found that his throat was scorched from the flames.

"Where am I?" he barely managed to whisper.

"Company 6's headquarters," she said.

Hinawa dropped his head back against the pillow. If he was in Company 6's headquarters, that meant he was in the hospital. "How long have I been out?"

"Just a few days."

_Do you know?_ Hinawa was hesitant to ask what was on the forefront of his mind. _Do they all know?_

"I'm going to go tell everyone that you're awake," Maki said. She touched his hand before leaving. "I'll be back in a bit."

Hinawa watched as she walked out the door to his room. He laid in bed and napped until his doctor came in. He watched as she flipped through his medical chart.

"Lieutenant Takehisa Hinawa of Company 8, you have a very severe case of Hanahaki Disease," she told him. "According to your medical history, you have seen a doctor recently for a diagnosis, and you declined any treatment."

Hinawa painfully cleared his throat. "Yes, that's correct," he rasped.

"Is there a reason why?" she asked.

"Because I love her."

"Right now, unless you have the operation, you are facing certain death, Lieutenant Hinawa," the doctor said.

Hinawa mulled the words over in his mind. He had considered getting the operation before, but _now_? Without ever knowing Maki's feelings? He couldn't. Not ever. But he had already made up his mind, and it broke his heart to do so.

"I already made up my mind," he said hoarsely. "I called the doctor the other day, and I requested the operation."

The doctor sighed and pulled a bottle from her coat pocket. "These pills should help with the flowers, at least until your operation. Take one every time you feel the need to vomit a flower."

She set the bottle on his bedside table and put his medical chart back outside his door. She left the room and shut the door behind her.

Hinawa stared at the bottle. He was hesitant to pick it up and examine it; the pills inside made a rattling noise as he shook the bottle. The label had his name on it, and the drug was one he'd never heard of before: Fleurovin. The instructions said to take one tablet as needed.

_These may suppress my flowers, but not the inevitable,_ he thought.

He set the bottle back down on his bedside table and tried to make himself comfortable; each direction he rolled, a tube tugged, and made him feel unpleasant. He finally settled for his back and fell asleep.

"You guys, shut up!" he heard someone whisper loudly. "You're going to wake him up."

Hinawa sighed inwardly. _Shinra._

"At least he's okay. That bump on his head was pretty bad. Not to mention, he inhaled a lot of smoke after he passed out." Obi's voice was further away; he was probably in the corner of the room.

"Maki protected him the best she could while also protecting us," Iris said. "You did great, Maki."

"Thanks," Maki answered. Hers was the closest voice; she was right beside him.

As they were talking, the doctor came in and introduced herself to the room at large. She tented hands as she introduced herself to Iris and Tamaki, who did the same in return.

"If you all don't mind, I'd like to speak with Lieutenant Hinawa alone, please," she requested.

"Sure. Come on, everyone, let's step outside," Obi said, directing Shinra and Arthur to the door.

"Latom," Iris said before she stepped through the doorway.

_I'm going to kill every single one of them,_ Hinawa thought furiously.

"Um, is it okay if I listen in?" Maki asked the doctor.

"It's up to the Lieutenant," the doctor said.

Hinawa opened his eyes and saw Maki staring at him. She looked terrible, and he knew that she had to have been worried sick over him. He sighed because he knew if he didn't let her stay, she'd listen at the door.

"She can stay," Hinawa said.

"We'd like to do a few more tests. But other than that, you should be cleared to leave in the morning. These tests are to make sure your breathing hasn't been impacted by the smoke you inhaled."

Hinawa nodded. "Okay."

"I have a question," Maki asked.

"Yes?"

"What are these pills for?" she said, pulling the bottle out of her purse.

_Dammit!_ Hinawa's mind yelled. He could barely hear over the pounding of his heartbeat. He glanced back and forth between the doctor and Maki, who was engaged in an intense staredown with each other. "They're for pain," the doctor said, relenting. "He bumped his head pretty bad, and those are the pain pills we prescribed him."

Maki glanced at the bottle before setting it back on the bedside table. "Okay."

"I need to examine him, so if you'll please excuse us," the doctor said, gesturing at Hinawa.

Maki got up and left quickly. Hinawa watched as the door shut behind her before sighing in relief. _Crisis averted._

"So it's _her_," the doctor said quietly.

"N-No," Hinawa said, trying to cover his tracks.

"She cares so much for you, and you care for her." The doctor ran her stethoscope over his chest. "But, to be honest, you're a little selfish."

Hinawa began to feel his chest tighten. "I know. Which is why I want the operation as soon as possible, please, if it'll save my life."

"You won't be able to leave the hospital for at least two more weeks," the doctor said. "But from listening to your chest… you will need it to be able to survive that long."

Hinawa's chin quivered. He didn't want to forget his love for Maki, at all. But his body was telling him to give in.

"I need the surgery," he said.

"Let me see when I can work you in," she said. She left, and Hinawa heard the doctor explaining his situation to Company 8.

_I was so selfishly stupid,_ he thought. _I wanted to keep this to myself, but I ended up hurting everyone else._

"Lieutenant Hinawa? Can we come in?" Obi asked, knocking on his hospital room door.

"Yeah," he said.

Obi pushed open the door, and Shinra and Arthur tumbled into the room, followed by Tamaki and Iris. Maki was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Maki?" he asked.

"She said she'd be here in a few minutes," Obi said.

Hinawa gulped, forgetting his throat was burnt. He groaned as he grabbed his throat.

Maki stood outside his hospital room door, tears running down her face. She remembered him telling her that he had to leave the office for a bit this week. She walked to the nearby restroom and sat down in a stall. She wailed into her hands.

_Is it what I have?_ she wondered. _If I tell him how I feel, will he get better?_

She heard a knock on her stall. "Maki? Are you coming out anytime soon? We have to head back to headquarters soon, and you're the only one who hasn't seen the lieutenant yet," Tamaki's voice called out gently.

Maki wiped her face and stood up. She unlocked the stall and stepped out, refusing to look at Tamaki.

"Lisa and Vulcan are visiting with him now, but we all have to leave soon," she said gently.

Maki's lip trembled. "I want to, but I can't," she said.

"You have to," Tamaki said.

Maki shook her head. Her and Hinawa had always been close, but lately, she had started to view him as something more. Knowing he had to have surgery, and knowing the potential risks of _any_ surgery, Maki couldn't stand to have the image of him in a hospital bed be her last image of him.

"I-I want to wait until he comes out of surgery," she said.

"Maki, they won't let you see him for hours."

"I don't care!"

Maki allowed herself to be led out of the bathroom but refused any offers to see Lieutenant Hinawa before they left.

"Maki, are you sure? I mean, he's been asking for you," Lisa said.

Maki nodded her head. Her heart was hurting, and she ached to throw up flower petals, but she had held them back while she was here.

"Maki, I hope you aren't going to regret this," Obi said.

"Will you guys stop laying on the guilt?" Shinra said quietly.

Maki laid her hand on Hinawa's hospital room door and pushed it open. His head snapped to see who it was, a faint ray of hope on his face.

"Maki!" he mouthed.

"Yeah, it's me," she said, waving. She stood by his bed and fought back tears. She had so many questions on her mind, and not enough time to ask them. "Why. Why are you having the surgery?"

Hinawa pat his chest; his voice was almost completely gone now, taken by both heat and talking too much. His comrades were worriedly assuring him that the operation would be fine and that Maki would speak to him.

One down. One to go.

"If it's your chest, can't they do something less drastic than an operation?" Maki asked. "Like pills?"

"Not always the best option," he tried to say.

"If anything happens, I'll never forgive you!" she sobbed, hugging him.

Hinawa blinked tears from his eyes. He rubbed Maki's back as she cried onto his shoulder.

Tamaki walked in and gently took Maki's hand. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant Hinawa, but we have to leave."

_Don't leave just yet!_ He wanted to yell. He watched as Maki walked down the hall with the rest of Company 8, the last one in line.

"Lieutenant Hinawa, your operation is set for seven am. We need to have you in bed," a nurse told him.

He nodded. Hinawa tried to close his eyes and sleep. It was uncomfortable in the hospital; there was no fighting from Shinra and Arthur, or arguing between Shinra and Tamaki. No surprise visits from Captain Hibana from Squad 5. No Captain Obi lifting weights, and no Sister Iris making tea for the company. And no Maki, with her gentle smile.

A few hours later, the doctor came in and explained what would happen during his surgery the following morning. Hinawa was scared to death.

"We will make an incision, and we will remove any excess flowers, buds, and petals from your heart and lungs," she said. "While we are doing this, you will be placed on a machine that will do all of the heart and lung work for you." She closed his file and looked at him gently. "You know, by choosing this option, you aren't going to be able to love her again, right?"

Hinawa nodded tears in his eyes. He wanted that part to be a lie. He wanted it all to be a lie.

"We'll come and get you at five am to prep you for surgery."


	6. Chapter 6

**tw: blood, vomit, surgery.**

* * *

"Do you have _any_ update on Takehisa Hinawa?" Maki asked the nurse for the fifth time.

"My answer is the same as the last four times," she told her. "Once I get an update, I will call for you."

Maki sighed and pushed herself away from the desk. She knew it did no good for herself worrying. She had barely gotten any sleep through the night, and she knew she wasn't the only one.

"Arthur, Tamaki, let's go see if there are any kids who can do with entertainment," Shinra said.

"I'll come too," Iris said. "I'll pray for the sickest ones and ask that they can find peace."

Obi rubbed the back of his neck. He wasn't too keen on the idea of three of his most troublesome company members leaving his sight. He leaned down to talk to Iris.

"Please keep them in line the best you can," he said.

"I'll try, sir."

Iris walked down the hall to where they were waiting on her. She and Tamaki began talking amongst themselves, leaving Arthur and Shinra to talk.

"Maki, I know you're worried," Obi said, standing beside the corner where she had holed up, "but you need to give Hinawa _some_ credit."

"His surgery was this morning," she pointed out. "It's been _eight hours_. Why haven't they told us anything?"

Obi threw his hands up. "I'm not talking to her," he said.

Lisa walked over to her. "Maki, you need some rest."

Maki knew she was right. Her body was screaming for sleep, and her chest ached. She longed to throw up the pink camellia petals that were building up. She stood up from her seat — the only available one by the window, where she was watching the rain roll down the glass — and headed to the bathroom. She barely made it into a stall before she vomited a small amount of blood, and a lot of cherry blossom petals into the bowl.

_My mouth… my throat! I can't speak,_ she thought. She quickly flushed the toilet; why did she suddenly have a second flower? She coughed slightly and felt a single blue primrose fall into her hand. She crushed it and threw it into the garbage.

_I need to wipe this blood off of my mouth,_ she thought. She grabbed a paper towel and wet it, running it over her mouth and lips. She splashed water onto her face and stared at the running stream, wishing everything was different.

"Maki, Obi sent me in here to see if you're okay," Lisa said.

"I'm fine," she said.

As if to prove it, she squeezed past Lisa and headed back into the waiting room. Tamaki stood up from her seat in the window.

"We got halfway down the hall and realized that we should be here waiting," Shinra explained.

"This waiting is starting to bore me," Vulcan said. "I'm going to head down to the cafeteria. Anyone want to come with me?"

"I'll come with you," Shinra offered.

"Yeah, same," Obi said. "Come on, Arthur," he told the blond knight, dragging him to a standing position.

"If anything happens, someone come get us, okay?" Vulcan said to Lisa.

"Sure thing, Vul!"

Maki wrapped her arms around her knees. "I don't need to be _baby-sat_," she said.

"Then quit acting so gloomy!" Lisa told her. "He had an operation. He didn't die!"

Maki propped her head on her knees. "I just… I want to know everything is okay."

* * *

Hinawa grimaced in his sleep. He felt like he had a heavy weight on his chest, and he couldn't move. He reached up to move it off of him but felt his arm get stopped.

"Looks like you're coming around," he heard someone say.

He tried to speak, but he had a tube down his throat. Then he remembered: _I had surgery._

He slapped at the tube, wanting it out. His throat was already sore from his injuries. He had to admit; the past week was the worst for him.

"Can you cough?" someone asked.

_Of course_, he thought. He coughed, coughing up the tube that was in his throat, helping him breathe.

But he didn't cough up flowers.

He looked down at his chest for the concrete proof that he had had the surgery. The covered incision on his chest made him hyperventilate.

"He's still coming around, so it's best if you go in two at a time," a nurse said from outside his room.

He looked toward the glass-paned door and could barely see the members of Company 8. He saw Obi and Vulcan putting on paper hospital gowns and masks.

"I'll leave you to visit with your friends," his nurse said, slipping out.

"You gave us a good scare," Obi told him. His face was pale. "You need to start taking better care of yourself."

"Yeah, I will."

"Maki was the worst one. She was more worried than anyone else," Vulcan said.

_Maki?_ Hinawa looked outside the door again and saw her clutching her paper medical gear. He hesitated. He knew there was something about her, but didn't know what it was. "I didn't see her for a minute. Why is she holding that bag so tight?"

Obi looked over at Vulcan, who looked back at him. "I guess it's just nerves," Obi said.

"Shinra and Arthur are coming in to see you next, so we're heading out," Vulcan said.

As Obi and Vulcan left, Hinawa waited for Shinra and Arthur to come into his room. He caught another glimpse of Maki — that _was _her name, right? — outside his door and again tried to place her in his heart. He found that he couldn't. But everyone else was easy.

"Hey, Lieutenant Hinawa," Shinra said, dragging Arthur into the room. "Arthur and I both aren't good in these types of situations. But we promise not to give Maki a hard time while she's filling in for you as the Lieutenant."

"If she's filling in for me, she must be an excellent Fire Soldier," Hinawa laughed.

"Uh… you hand-picked her yourself, sir," Shinra said.

"I did?"

Arthur's eyes narrowed. "Yes, sir. She was your underling in the military."

"Never would have guessed it!"

Shinra sighed. _Obi and Vulcan were right. His memory of Maki has been erased._ "Come on, Arthur."

Hinawa waved goodbye. His attention was drawn again to Maki, who was pacing away from his room. He noticed the other girls were watching her with worried glances.

_My chest, it hurts,_ he thought. The more he watched Maki, the more he hurt inside. _They took it away, what I felt for her. I can barely remember her. It's not fair._


	7. Chapter 7

**tw: blood, vomit, mentions of surgery...**

* * *

Maki sat and dangled her legs off of the exam table. She had made an emergency appointment with the doctor again after coughing up the flowers while waiting on Lieutenant Hinawa to come out of surgery.

"So, it seems you've begun to cough up more types of flowers," the doctor said, walking in. He opened Maki's patient file to her Hanahaki Disease diagnosis and pulled out his pen. "Usually we don't see patients who cough up a different type of flower. They've usually been cured — either by surgery or having their loved one confess their feelings — or they have died."

He examined Maki's mouth and throat. The cuts in her mouth and throat, which weren't there the day before, had made their presence known while she was eating breakfast, and she had to ignore the pain so no one could see what was wrong.

"So, your options are the same as before," the doctor said, sitting to face her. "You can wait for the man you love to return your feelings, or you can have surgery and be rid of the disease and not have to worry about dying."

Maki's eyes filled with tears. "I can't have the operation," she said. "I just can't."

"Right now, that seems like your only choice," he told her.

"Is there any other way to slow the disease down?"

The doctor sighed. "There's an experimental drug out, but there is no proof it works on Hanahaki Disease that is this advanced."

"I'll try anything," she begged.

She waited as he wrote a prescription out for her. She tucked it into her purse and heaved a sigh.

"Your Hanahaki Disease has progressed rapidly since I last saw you," the doctor said suddenly. "Can you explain this?"

"I've been under a lot of stress and stuff lately," Maki said. It wasn't a total lie; she had spent a majority of the time between the day of her diagnosis and now worrying about the Lieutenant. "I guess I let my health take a backseat to… other things."

"Your Hanahaki Disease is almost in the final stages," the doctor told her.

"What are you saying?" she asked him.

"I'm saying that even if you take the pills, your disease might not be able to be slowed down anymore."

Maki stared at the doctor in shock. She didn't expect this from him. The doctor told her that the pills had a chance of working, only to turn around and tell her that they wouldn't? Maki knew someone should have come with her. But how exactly can you say,_ "I'm dying, I need someone to comfort me?"_

"Your only option of survival now is surgery," the doctor said firmly.

"No."

"I'm sorry, but it's the only viable option."

"Just let me try the pills, please!" she begged.

"Fine," the doctor relented. "I'd like to see you in three days for a checkup, though."

Maki smiled with relief. It was a small victory for her. She didn't have to give up on loving Hinawa yet. "Yes, sir. I'll be here."

* * *

Maki shook the bottle of pills that the doctor had prescribed her. She had seen the name Fleurovin before somewhere, but couldn't remember where. She poured a pill into her hand and swallowed it with a glass of water.

_So I take this each time I feel flower petals at the back of my throat_, she thought. _But I don't feel anything happening yet._

She set the bottle back down on her bedside table and climbed into bed. Since she was diagnosed with Hanahaki Disease, sleep never came easy for her anymore. She rolled over on her back and sighed.

"Maybe these pills can help me sleep," she said to herself, closing her eyes.

Not long later, she woke up hacking and coughing. She felt bloody petals spill forward from her lips; she left them on the floor as she ran to the bathroom to vomit.

The unwelcome sight of the cherry blossoms in the toilet was burned into her retinas as she began to cry. Hot tears ran down her face as she slumped against the wall, exhausted.

"Maki?"

She turned to see Lieutenant Hinawa standing in the doorway of the bathroom. He had only been back from the hospital for a few days; he was still on work leave because of his surgery. She stared at him for a moment before realizing that he was in the women's bathroom.

"Lieutenant, you know that this is the women's bathroom!" she told him, pushing him out. "Men can't be in here!"

"Oh. Sorry. But I know you came into the men's bathroom the other day," Hinawa pointed out.

"It's not the same," she said.

Hinawa paused as he felt Maki clutching the back of his shirt. He turned around and put his arms around her. Maki leaned into him, grasping the front of his shirt. He held her close as she cried silently into his chest.

_She must be going through a lot,_ Hinawa thought.

Hinawa suddenly realized that he was holding Maki closer than he ought to and broke their embrace. Maki wiped her face and turned away.

"I'm sorry, Lieutenant, I've just been overwhelmed recently," she sniffled.

"It's okay," he told her.

"But it's _not_."

Hinawa rubbed his eyes. It had to have been about three in the morning. He didn't want to deal with this at the moment, yet at the same time, he did.

"Maki, it's late," he told her. "I promise I'll listen to what you have to say later on after we have both slept a little more."

"R-Really?"

"Really."

Maki felt a wave of relief wash over her; the Lieutenant would be able to advise her on what to do, even if he didn't know that the guy she was anguishing over was him.

"I'd appreciate that, Lieutenant," she said.

Hinawa turned and walked back toward his bedroom, leaving Maki in the women's bathroom alone. She sank to the floor and sighed.

_I want this to end,_ she thought. _I should tell him._

Maki closed her eyes and imagined confessing to Hinawa, him meeting her family, her wearing a long white wedding dress and walking to meet him at the end of a long aisle…

"Stop it, Maki," she told herself. "You can't be thinking of him like that."

_But what if he _is_ the man of my dreams? _Maki thought._ That means the person I've been waiting for all along has been right here with me already!_

Maki walked toward her bedroom and shut the door behind her. The darkness enveloped her, making her fears boil over until she was smothering. She sank against her door and began hyperventilating.

_Open the door,_ she told herself. She reached up and opened the door a crack; a wave of fresh air hit her, and she calmed down. _This has _got_ to stop._ I'm_ telling the Lieutenant tomorrow, and that's that._

* * *

When Maki woke up, she didn't feel the need to throw up flowers for once since having been diagnosed. Instead, she felt better than she had before. She stretched.

_I feel a lot better today,_ she thought. She stood up and grabbed a change of clothes before heading to the showers. _Maybe I don't have to tell the Lieutenant after all._

Maki walked into the locker room, where Hinawa was standing in front of his open locker. He looked over at Maki as she opened her locker.

"Morning," he said. "Did you sleep well?"

"Y-Yeah," she said.

"If you have anything you want to talk about, feel free to come to talk to me," he told her, shutting his locker door.

"I will," she said.

She waited until he left before sinking onto a seat. She had completely forgotten about getting sick the night before; now, she remembered everything, from throwing up the cherry blossom petals to Hinawa's offer to talk.

She grabbed a change of clothes and a towel and walked to the showers; she felt a sense of heaviness in her chest like she knew she was going to be coughing up flowers soon. Maki coughed and saw nothing but blood in her hand.

_If it can just wait until I talk to the Lieutenant,_ Maki thought as she rinsed her hands off in the shower. She coughed again and stared at the blooming yellow tulip in her hands.

_Pink camellias, cherry blossoms, and now yellow tulips?_ she wondered. Her breath rasped in her chest. Maki retched and threw up blood and various flowers in the shower.

"Maki?" Tamaki said from the doorway. She came over to where Maki had collapsed on her knees in the shower and gasped. "Oh my god, are you okay?"

Maki burst into tears. She wanted to say she was okay. But in truth, she wasn't. She wasn't okay, and she didn't think she ever would be again.


	8. Chapter 8

**tw: blood, vomit**

* * *

Hinawa sat down at his desk and straightened the files in front of him. He was back at work for the first time since his surgery, but instead of going and putting out Infernals with the others, he was put on light desk work while his incision healed.

"Has your incision healed any more, Lieutenant?" Maki asked him from her desk. She had been promoted to deputy lieutenant while he was recovering, so his workload was much lighter while hers was much heavier.

"It's itching so yes, it's healing," he told her.

He had been having spotty memories coming back to him since his surgery, and he knew that Maki hadn't caught on to his memory loss at all.

"Maki, can I speak with you please?" Obi called, leaning into the room.

"Yes, sir, I'll be right there." Maki stood up and headed toward his office.

Hinawa looked from Maki to Obi. "Is it something I should be concerned with?"

"No, don't worry about it," Maki said.

"Oh. Okay, then," Hinawa said. He watched as she followed Obi into his office and shut the door behind her. His chest tightened; he hated being left out.

"Lieutenant, are you feeling okay?" Maki asked him. He hadn't heard her come out of Obi's office.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I think I'll go lay down for a bit," Hinawa said. He stood up from his desk and walked down the hall to his room, where he shut the door behind him.

_I shouldn't be jealous,_ he thought as he sat down on his bed. _But I can't help it. I hate being sidelined._

He rubbed his chest absentmindedly. The itching was a small nuisance, a reminder that he had had surgery for a reason. But he couldn't remember why.

"Lieutenant Hinawa? Can I talk to you for a moment?" Maki called from outside his door. "It's really important."

Hinawa opened his door and beckoned Maki inside. She walked in and stood in the middle of his room, nervously fidgeting with her hands.

"What is it, Maki?" he asked.

"Remember last night, when you told me if I needed to talk, that you'd listen?"

"Yes," Hinawa said. That much he _did_ remember.

Maki blushed. How could she tell him how she felt? And what would happen if he rejected her?

"Lieutenant, I-I love you. I mean, _really_ love you," she told him. "I could never work up the courage to tell you before."

Hinawa stared at her. His chest itched. "Maki, I'm sorry, but I can't return your feelings."

Maki's eyes filled with tears. "Lieutenant, please."

Hinawa took a step back as Maki retched flowers and blood all over his floor. He could barely make out the blossoms for the blood; he saw yellow tulips, cherry blossoms, primroses in every color, and… pink camellias?

"You have Hanahaki Disease," he whispered. It wasn't a question.

Maki sobbed as she tried to cover her mouth with her hand. She had hoped he would return her feelings. Then her disease would have gone away. She coughed again and cried as blood filled her hand.

Hinawa couldn't catch his breath. He knew what was going on. He had suffered through it himself. _Why didn't I catch the warning signs sooner?_

"I have to go," Maki said, pushing Hinawa away. Her bloody hand left an imprint on his clothes.

"No, wait," he begged. He grabbed her wrist.

"I don't want to hear your excuses," she said, yanking her arm free.

"Maki…"

She coughed violently, interrupting him. She fell to her knees, gasping for breath. The flowers in her lungs had taken root and were causing her to cough up blood. She felt an arm under her own as Hinawa guided her to his bed.

"Maki, come on," he whispered. She laid on her side and faced him. He ran his fingers through her hair as she coughed up more blood.

Hinawa turned away so she couldn't see and unzipped his orange jumpsuit. His surgery incision had been burning for days now, and he had to check on it.

"I-It can't be," he muttered. He stared at his incision, from which forget-me-nots were falling into his hands. He scooped them into his trash can and hid it away out of Maki's line of view.

He placed his hand over his chest as he sat down beside Maki. He kissed her lightly on her forehead as she coughed up more blood.

"Maki," he whispered. His chest stung as he felt his love for Maki return. He looked inside his shirt and saw forget-me-nots falling from his scar.

"I'm sorry, I should have never told you how I felt," Maki said, coughing. "I've never been so embarrassed in my life."

"I should be the one apologizing," he told her. "I lost my memory of loving you after my surgery. I couldn't return your feelings at first. But…"

Maki leaned up. She was dizzy from having coughed up so much blood. She had to know though.

"But?"

"I love you, too."

He'd said it. He was relieved to have said it. But he was in pain; he thought that if he confessed he would recover from this wretched disease. His chest was aching; it felt like a large truck was sitting on it. But he tried to tough it out for Maki, who had recovered. He didn't want her to see him like that. But how could he just hide the flower petals that were blossoming from his _chest_, of all places?

Maki wrapped her arms around the lieutenant. He loved her. _He_ loved _her._ It was the other way around for once. But she knew something was wrong. She could tell from the lieutenant's labored breathing.

"Lieutenant are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," he told her.

He was lying, to both her and himself. He knew he was ill; his chest was in agony from the pain of the flowers, and each breath he drew barely inflated his lungs.

"Lieutenant, you're not okay," Maki said.

"You're right. I'm not," he admitted. "I need help."

Hinawa tried to walk toward his door but collapsed. Maki shook him but he didn't move.

"Lieutenant, wake up," she begged. "Wake _up_!"

* * *

**a/n: hey y'all. so if you want to yell at me or anything, i have left my tumblr, twitter, and even my discord handle in my profile. (i'll drop it here too.)**

**tumblr: sputterfly | twitter: sputterfly92 | discord: redacted#0001**


	9. Chapter 9

**tw: mentions of blood and threats of surgery**

* * *

Maki paced back and forth in the waiting room. No one would tell her how Hinawa was doing or even look her way.

"Hi, excuse me," she said, grabbing the arm of a passing nurse. "I want to know about Lieutenant Takehisa Hinawa's condition."

"I'll tell you more when I find out," the nurse said exasperatedly.

"Can you at least tell me where I can find him?"

"Until he's been examined by the doctor, no one is to see him."

The nurse pulled her arm away from Maki and left her standing alone in the hall. She wrung her hands and looked from the waiting room to the door behind which the nurse disappeared.

_No one will know_, she thought impatiently. She pushed open the door and disappeared into the triage area.

"Lieutenant?" Maki called out.

She carefully walked through the halls as she searched for the ill Lieutenant. She reached the end of one corridor and turned around; he was nowhere to be found.

"Ma'am, you're not allowed to be back here without a visitor's pass," a nurse called out to her as she walked past the nurses' station.

"I-I lost my pass, and I can't find my way back," Maki lied. "Can you tell me where I can find Lieutenant Takehisa Hinawa?"

"He's not allowed any visitors," the nurse said.

"Oh. Um… okay. Thanks," Maki said, turning around. She fought back tears as she began walking back to the waiting room. She hated to ask for help, but…

"How do I get out of here?" Maki asked, turning back around.

"Go straight down the hall, turn right, and there should be a door that will open back out into the waiting room," the nurse said.

"Thank you," Maki said, bowing. She followed the nurse's directions and, sure enough, came upon a sign that was pointing in the direction of the waiting room. She pushed the door open and walked out into the waiting room.

_Captain Obi and everyone else is all scattered throughout the hospital_, she thought, sinking into an empty chair near the doors. _I'm the only one here in the emergency room with the Lieutenant._

"See? I told you she was in here," she heard someone say. She looked around and saw Lisa coming her way, with Vulcan in tow.

"So? What's going on?" Vulcan asked.

"H-He's not allowed visitors," Maki said, her voice quivering.

"And?"

"They won't tell me anything."

Lisa grabbed her shoulders. "Listen, when Obi gets back, we'll have him get more information from them, okay?"

Maki nodded, crying. She knew she had to stay strong for Hinawa, but how could she when she didn't know anything?

* * *

Hinawa groaned as he tried to roll over in bed. He felt the sharp tug of the IV tubes in his arm; his chest felt like it had an unknown force pressing down on it. He struggled to catch his breath.

"Welcome back to the world, Lieutenant Hinawa," a nurse greeted him. Her face was blurry; his glasses were on the bedside table. He glanced at the empty chairs in his room.

"Where's Maki?"

"Who?"

"Maki. Violet eyes. Wears her hair in a ponytail."

"A girl was walking around the emergency room asking about you earlier, but you're not allowed any visitors until the doctor examines you," the nurse said. She injected some kind of medicine into his IV. "This will help your pain from the flowers."

"Please let Maki in here. I need to speak to her," he said hoarsely. "I have to explain."

"I can't. The doctor will be here shortly. Just rest until he comes in."

Hinawa drew a ragged breath. He knew another operation was on the way. "I'm not consenting to anything until I speak to Maki."

The nurse sighed. "I'll talk to the doctor."

Hinawa leaned back against the pillows and stared out his window. The sky was gray, and he could hear distant rumbles of thunder. He coughed and noticed a few bloody forget-me-nots in his hand.

"Lieutenant?"

He turned to see Maki standing in the doorway. She wrung her hands as she let loose a small sob. She walked toward him and sat on the side of his bed; he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her as she cried quietly.

"I'm most likely going to have another operation," Hinawa whispered. "I can't see it any other way now."

"C-Can't you treat it with medicine?" Maki asked.

Hinawa shook his head. "The last time I had the surgery, I lost my memory of you. And I stopped loving you. I don't want to lose you again."

"You won't. Promise me you won't."

"I can't promise. But I know I won't."

Maki hiccuped as tears streamed down her face. "If anything happens, I'll just shove myself back into your life again."

She leaned in and gave him a small kiss before standing. Hinawa wished she would stay longer. He was terrified of the thought of a second surgery, and even more so of losing his newly recovered memories of Maki.

"If they do another surgery, I'll stay and wait," Maki told him.

"Thanks," he told her.

"Miss Oze, your allotted visiting time ended five minutes ago. The doctor has been waiting for you to leave before he comes into the room," a nurse said loudly from the door.

Maki sighed sadly. She didn't want to leave Hinawa, knowing that the next time she saw him, he probably wouldn't remember her. She walked slowly to the door and turned to look at him.

"I guess I'll see you when you're out of surgery." She plastered a big smile on her face to hide how much she was hurting inside.

Hinawa choked back a sob. He wanted to get up and hug her, but he couldn't move his legs. _Damn, that pain medicine they gave me is making its way through my body already. _

After Maki had left, the doctor walked in and stood by his bedside, looking over his chart. Hinawa moaned quietly.

"What the fuck did you guys do to me?" he asked.

"It's a simple pain drug," the doctor said. He sighed. "We're going to have to do a second operation–"

"No," Hinawa objected immediately.

"If we don't, you're dead in forty-eight hours."

"Isn't there any way you can treat this without me losing my memory of her?"

"This operation is your last chance of survival. And not many people have to have second operations," the doctor said, closing his file. "If you have the operation, you can still love her. If not, you'll leave her heartbroken forever."

Hinawa thought about it; Maki promised to wait on him to come out of surgery. She also said she'd just shove herself back into his life if he lost his memory again.

"Okay," he said. "But, please get it all this time."

"I'll do my best."


	10. Chapter 10

Maki sat perched on the edge of her chair as she watched doctors and nurses pass her by. She was waiting for someone to come and get her to take her to see Lieutenant Hinawa.

It had been over two hours since he had come out of surgery, and, according to doctors, his memory was still intact. Maki was thrilled, and when everyone else in Company 8 left to get some rest, she volunteered to stay at the hospital.

_I hope they got it all_, she thought nervously. Her hands twisted in her lap as she sat up a little straighter, her eyes scanning the room. _They couldn't have thought I left too, could they?_

"Miss Oze?" a nurse called, pushing open a door.

Maki jumped up. "Yes?"

"If you'll come with me, please."

Maki followed her through the door and down a corridor with doors leading off into every which way. She felt as if she were going to throw up on the hospital's newly sterilized floors.

The nurse stopped outside a pair of doors and pressed in a code. "He's in the bed at the very end. He'll be happy to see you."

"T-Thanks," Maki said, slowly walking inside. She followed the nurse's directions and walked to the end of the row of beds, and peeked in through the crack in the curtains.

Her heart swelled to see Hinawa sitting up in bed, reading the newspaper. He had a cup of water beside him, and his untouched breakfast was on his overbed table.

"Lieutenant?" Maki called out. "Can I come in?"

"Maki! Of course!" she heard him call out. She heard a rustle as he put his newspaper away before she walked in, prepared to give her his undivided attention.

_He _does_ remember me_, Maki thought. She pushed the curtains aside and walked in.

"Hey," she said, her voice quiet.

"Maki," Hinawa said. "Are you the only one still here?"

"Yeah. Everyone else left to get some sleep."

Hinawa motioned to the empty chair beside his bed. "Please, sit with me."

Maki walked over and sat down in the chair. She looked around him at the various medical equipment and laced her fingers together.

"You're not hooked up to any IVs?" she asked him.

"I'm on an IV for fluids, but nothing more than that," he told her.

She watched as he reached up to rub his chest. A few blue flower petals came away in his hand, and Maki jumped up, terrified.

"I thought they got it all!" she cried.

"They did. The doctor said I'll always have the flower petals now since I had Hanahaki Disease twice."

Maki watched as the petals fluttered to the floor between them. The sight of the petals made her heart clench.

"It's my fault. I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't apologize," Hinawa told her. He patted his bed. "Come here."

Maki stood up and turned to sit on his bed. She felt him pull her in closer for a hug as a tear slipped down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away so he wouldn't see.

Maki wrapped her arms around the Lieutenant's neck and rested her cheek on his shoulder. His presence comforted her; she was glad he still remembered her.

"Maki, give me your hand," Hinawa told her, breaking away from the hug.

Maki complied, giving him her hand. She watched as he put it over his surgery scar. It was the most intimate and romantic thing they've done.

She gently pushed back the dressing and rubbed her fingers over the raw, raised skin. The stitches that were embedded into his skin ingrained themselves into her memory. She felt Hinawa's heartbeat quicken under her hand and ran her hand down his chest.

"I'm glad you're okay," she told him.

"I know."

Hinawa watched as Maki's head drooped slightly. He rubbed her shoulder with his thumb and stirred her awake.

"Why don't you take a nap?" he asked her.

"I'll wait until I get back to headquarters to take a nap," Maki told him.

"Go ahead and take it here. The chair opens out."

Maki stood up and sat back down in the recliner. She searched around for the handle to open up the chair and was upset when she couldn't find it.

"Here," Hinawa said. "Let me find it."

He walked over to the chair and leaned down. He pulled up on the lever and hid his laughter when Maki yelped as the chair opened out.

"I would have found it eventually, you know," she told him.

"I know." He leaned down and kissed her gently. "Get some rest."

Maki obeyed, closing her eyes as she curled up in the chair. She felt a blanket get pulled over her as she fell into a deep sleep.

Hinawa climbed back into his hospital bed and watched as Maki slept in the chair beside him. Knowing she was with him made him feel better, and when he had more petals fall into his hands, he wasn't mad.

_I got this disease because I loved you more than I should have_, he thought. _I'll gladly have these flowers for the rest of my life._

He watched Maki shift in the chair as she tried to find a more comfortable position. He was tempted to let her have his hospital bed to sleep in.

"Lieutenant Hinawa, sir, no overnight visitors," a nurse called out to him.

"Shit," he muttered. He sighed and leaned up; Maki was sleeping peacefully, which was something she hadn't done in a while. He hated to disturb her. He gently laid his hand on her arm.

"What is it?" she asked sleepily.

"The nurse wants you to leave."

Maki leaned up in the chair. "Seriously?"

Hinawa nodded. "Sorry."

"I don't have a way back to headquarters."

"I'll call Obi, and he'll send Vulcan. Don't worry."

"I-I'll find a way there, don't worry," Maki said. She stood up and stormed out.

"Maki! Come back!" Hinawa called out, standing up. He ran after her, much to the protests of the nurses.

Maki heard him calling her name but didn't turn around and look. Her parents lived nearby; she could just go there for the night and sleep. She picked up the pace as she walked, trying to find a phone. She felt a sob build up in her chest and covered her mouth as she looked around. She was utterly lost, _again_, and tired to boot.

Maki felt someone grab her arm and whirl her around. She came face-to-face with Hinawa, who was out of breath. He kissed her firmly, his tongue brushing against her lips. Maki took the hint and parted her lips, allowing him a small taste before pushing him away.

"When someone calls your name, you stop," Hinawa told her. "Especially when that person just had _surgery_."

"I-I'm sorry," she told him.

He affectionately bumped her nose with his own before kissing her again. "It's okay."

Maki leaned into him. She wanted to melt into the floors of the hospital right then and there. His hands were so warm, making their way up her back.

"Oh!"

Maki pulled away from him, her hand clutching a fistful of petals. She stared at them in her palms, scared.

"The doctor got it all?" she asked.

Hinawa nodded.

"But you're going to have these petals forever because you had the disease twice? Isn't there anything they can give you to stop that?"

"Maki, if you have a problem with the flowers, then just say so."

Maki opened her mouth and quickly shut it. She didn't have a problem with the flowers. She just wished he had a better prognosis than having the flowers forever. And maybe it was her drowsiness taking effect, but her emotions were taking a toll on her now.

"I don't, sorry."

Hinawa pulled her in close. "Stop apologizing."

"But it's my fault."

"No, it's not."

She couldn't stop the tears from falling as he kissed the top of her head. She leaned into his chest and felt the raised skin from his operation against her forehead.

"You need to go back," she told him.

"Not right now." Hinawa wiped the tears off of her face. "I don't know how to get back."

"Please go back for me. And I'll go to sleep back at Company 8 and wait for you to come back."

"Where were you planning to sleep?" he asked her.

"My parents' house. They live nearby."

"Oh."

Maki could tell that he was none too pleased with her original idea. "I promise I'm going to sleep back at headquarters, but if — and only if — you promise you'll go back to your bed."

"I promise."

Maki kissed him gently. "I'll see you later."

"Bye," Hinawa told her.

"Bye."

* * *

A few days later, Maki was waiting anxiously in her room for the Lieutenant to come and see her. He had been out of the hospital for only a few hours, having been brought home by Obi and Vulcan that morning. They hadn't made their relationship public to the entire squad yet, but they figured it was past time they knew.

A gentle knock on her door announced Hinawa's presence, and her heart pounded in her chest. She hadn't been able to get that one kiss out of her mind — the one that made her entire body feel as though she was on fire.

She opened the door, and Hinawa immediately drew her in for a kiss. Maki pulled him into the room and grinned as he shut the door behind him.

Hinawa pulled Maki into his lap and furiously kissed her; within minutes, her neck and collarbone were covered in small bruises.

"So, how do you want to do this?" Maki asked him. She was enjoying his mouth all over her body, but that wasn't what they had planned to do.

Hinawa's mind snapped back to attention. "We need to talk to Obi. Right now, you're still the Lieutenant."

"Damn." Maki had forgotten — after his previous surgery, she had taken over the role of Lieutenant. And she still held that title.

"Honestly, making out with you while you have a higher position is kind of sexy," Hinawa said.

"Really?"

"Give me an order," he told her.

"Kiss me again," she demanded of him, her lips brushing his.

Hinawa did as he was told, only softer and more gently. It drove Maki crazy.

"Let's go talk to Obi," he suggested.

Maki nodded in agreement. "Yeah, okay."

She stood up and adjusted her clothes, as Hinawa did the same. He checked on his healing incision; Maki watched him as she placed her hand on the doorknob.

"No petals," he told her.

"Okay, good," she said. She opened the door and looked around. "No one's out here. Let's go."

Maki walked out of her room, with Hinawa following a few minutes later. They walked down the hall and paused outside of Obi's office.

"Well, here we go," Maki said. She gestured to the doorway. "You first."

Hinawa took a deep breath and walked inside. He felt Maki follow close behind him, a small sign of reassurance of what he was about to say.

"Obi, do you have a moment?" he asked.

"Yeah, what's up?" Obi said, looking from Hinawa to Maki. He already knew what was coming; he had just wanted to let the two of them come to him on their own time.

"Maki and I… are in a relationship. A pretty serious one that put our health in danger," Hinawa said. "But we know the risks of being in a relationship and are willing to take them."

"Hmm…" Obi hummed. "Your feelings for each other were no secret to everyone. We were all just waiting for you two to realize your feelings yourselves before we said anything."

Maki chewed on her lip as she waited for him to pass judgment. Hinawa had spoken so calmly, she was embarrassed that she was filling in for him as the Deputy Lieutenant.

"I can't keep you two from seeing each other. But I also want you two on your best behavior while here, understand?"

"Yes, sir," the two of them said in unison.

"Maki, you currently hold the rank of Lieutenant, which is normally Hinawa's rank. Please do not abuse it in your relationship."

"Yes, sir," Maki squeaked. Her mind flashed back to Hinawa, demanding her to give him an order.

"Hinawa, the same goes for you when you regain your rank."

"Yes, sir."

"Anything else?"

They shook their heads. Obi stood up and stretched. Hinawa took that as their cue to leave.

"Come on, Maki, let's go," he told her.

"R-Right!"

Maki ran after him, her heart pounding. When she caught up with him, she tugged on his sleeve.

"Was it wise to let him know about our… _health issues_?" she asked.

"I didn't tell him what we had. I just told him we both had something," Hinawa said. "Give me _some_ credit."

"He doesn't know what was wrong with you?" she asked him.

"Nope."

"I'm the only one?"

"The one and only."

"Why?"

Hinawa had been able to start timing when his flowers appeared, and he knew they should appear any minute now. He stopped just outside his bedroom door and pulled Maki inside.

"I have to tell you something," he told her, quickly shrugging out of his jumpsuit and pulling off his shirt. He grabbed her hand and put it over his surgery scar.

"What are you doing?" Maki asked him.

They waited like that for a few minutes until their hands filled with blue flower petals. Maki pulled her hand away quickly, still thoroughly scared of the flowers that would never leave Hinawa's chest despite him being cured.

"Those flowers you're holding are forget-me-nots," Hinawa told her. "They mean 'true love.' I think that's what we have."

Maki looked down at the flowers in her hand. She sniffled, no longer scared of the flowers.

"I think so too," she whispered.

**THE END**

* * *

**a/n: **_thank you to everyone who has stuck with this fic since I started posting it! it truly was a rollercoaster of emotions._

_I have a discord and a Tumblr if anyone wants to talk with me! I mainly post Hinawa/Maki fics now._

_I also have an AO3 under the same name as my FFN, which is where my newer works will be posted now due to smut._

_I hope everyone continues to read both my new stuff and my current stuff._

_~ sputterfly_


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